


Choices

by miss_aligned



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Mass Effect 3, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7600192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_aligned/pseuds/miss_aligned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan intends to talk to one more person before he makes a decision that is sure to change his life and career. Udina is less than pleased with his stalling, but the Major won't be be swayed before he can set some things right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choices

Luck had kept him among the living, and he knew it. As Kaidan looked out over the Citadel from the expansive window of his hospital room, he savored the small bit of progress he’d made towards getting back on his feet. He was able to stay awake for most of the day, though boredom did have a habit of getting the best of him from time to time. He knew that his injuries had been severe, that he’d almost died, but all things considered, he felt pretty good. A recent offer had provided a much needed confidence boost to heal up and get back out there.

His heart leapt as the door suddenly slid open, hoping that Shepard had received his most recent message. He knew that she sometimes left messages unanswered and simply showed up when she was in the area, after all. He was eager to show her his progress, to lay eyes on her again, to assure himself that the horrors he’d been seeing on the vids and hearing in the news updates hadn’t done her too much harm. He wanted, or needed, rather, to talk to her.

“Have you made a decision?” Donnel Udina stepped through the doorway and Kaidan’s heart sank a little, though he was careful to avoid letting the disappointment show on his face.

“No, sir. Not yet. You’ll be the first to know as soon as I do,” he answered with a polite grin.

“I didn’t realize that this would be such a difficult choice for you, Major. I assumed that you’d jump at the chance like dozens of other soldiers would,” the Councilor commented as he stepped up to the window and folded his hands behind his back.

“Just making sure that I’m in my right mind and have considered everything before I commit, Councilor.”

“Not a bad idea, I suppose,” Udina answered with a slow nod of his head. “But you know better than just about any other human exactly what’s expected. You were with Shepard when she accepted the position, as I recall.”

“I was,” came Kaidan’s quiet reply. He remembered it vividly. He was so proud, so in awe, so bewildered to witness history in the making. He considered it a great honor and one that he’d not soon forget.

“It’s a shame that you didn’t have a better example back then, but I suppose Shepard was the human Spectre that was needed at the time. She managed to screw things up rather profoundly since then, however. I’m surprised I’ve even been able to suggest you as a proper addition for human representation. Perhaps you can rectify the damage to our reputation.”

Kaidan internally bristled at the comments, but he was careful not to let it show. He bit his tongue to keep from telling the Councilor to shove his offer somewhere unpleasant. While he hadn’t agreed with everything that Shepard had done in her time since becoming a Spectre, he had faith in her as a person. She’d done everything she could to set things right, not just on behalf of humanity, but for the galaxy as a whole. She’d done more than any other single person in the universe had been able or willing to do, as far as he was concerned. He might not have trusted Cerberus, but he trusted her. She’d been an excellent example of a Spectre despite everything and everyone going against her.

He didn’t even know what to say in response. He was afraid that opening his mouth would allow some venomous commentary to spill forth that, while justified, was hardly professional. Thus, Kaidan remained quiet, staring out the window, telling himself that Udina simply didn’t comprehend the way things really happened. He hadn’t been in Shepard’s shoes.

“There are a lot of people out there who could use your help. You and I both know that as soon as you’re able, you’re heading out to the front lines again. It would be much easier to do your work with the access and backing of the Council, don’t you think?”

Kaidan sighed and nodded. Udina was a politician first and a Councilor second, it seemed. His argument was valid, of course, but certainly meant to sway him in one direction. He had to respect the man’s not-so-gentle prodding, regardless. “Yes, of course. I just want to talk to one more person before I know for certain.”

“I have no doubt that your friends and family would be proud. It’s dangerous work, certainly, but not one without benefits or prestige. I’m sure that your loved ones would understand your decision.”

The Major hadn’t had a large group of loved ones to start with, and now that Earth was in ruins, he wasn’t sure how many remained. He tried to avoid dwelling on the unknown, as it was only going to lead to heartache. He had at least one, for sure, but he wasn’t positive that she wanted to be referred to as one of his ‘loved ones’ any longer. Oddly enough, she was the one he’d wanted to talk to before making this choice at last.

Udina had apparently noticed his silent rumination, as he gave Kaidan a sidelong glance. A subtle smirk crept across his lips as he apparently made his assessment of the situation. “Oh, it’s someone special, perhaps? Here I thought you’d been working so much that you didn’t have time for such matters.”

Kaidan remained quiet, though there was no stopping the gentle flush that bloomed over his cheeks. Technically, the Councilor was right. He hadn’t had time to start any sort of serious relationship… unless he’d dared to mix business with pleasure. Which he had, once upon a time.

A small chuckle escaped Udina as he confirmed his own assumptions based on the Major’s surprisingly sheepish reaction. For a moment, he seemed almost fatherly in his response, a subtle mix of sympathy and understanding crossing his features.

“I’m assuming it’s someone I don’t know?”

Kaidan pondered the question for a split second, taking into account the commentary he’d shared previously regarding Commander Shepard. He could easily tell the truth. “Not very well, no.”

Udina nodded and stepped up beside the bed, giving Kaidan a hard stare. “I’d be careful of letting a fling get in the way of this sort of opportunity, Major. This one could change your life and save thousands of others.”

A fling. Even if it did feel like that sometimes, the insinuation that such a thing had been his intent struck Kaidan deeply, at the core of his being. He hadn’t ever gone into a relationship with that mindset, and he certainly hadn’t done so with Shepard. It was unclear where they stood now, but after all they’d been through, there was an undeniable tug at his heart with anything that had to do with that reckless, wild, astounding woman. The more time went by, the more he realized he missed her. He loved her. He’d never really stopped, as much as he’d tried to convince himself otherwise.

“I’d like an answer, Major,” he continued, calling the biotic out of his reverie. “The galaxy has need for exceptional soldiers like you. Now, more than ever.”

“You’ll have it soon, Councilor. I promise,” Kaidan dutifully responded. He wasn’t ready to be bullied into taking the position until he spoke to Shepard. There were things he needed to set straight in his own mind first. Before he ran off and found himself in some dangerous, insurmountable challenge with his life on the line, he had to clear the air with her.

“I look forward to it.”

The Major settled his head back down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Somehow, this short conversation had been far too draining. It wasn’t until he heard Udina turn away and almost hiss a name that he noticed something had changed. He said it with such barely hidden disdain that Kaidan knew without looking that someone had arrived. Someone important.

“Shepard.”

“Udina.” The Commander answered with equal contempt, and Kaidan was never so thrilled to hear that dangerous edge to her voice in his life.


End file.
